Here's my translation guide to letting Americans know what people are saying when English is spoken in their presence (courtesy of two weeks with Mrs. Red Squirrel).
What is said:
"We need to stop at the petrol station."
What is meant:
"We need to stop for gas, and no you can't smoke on the forecourt without being told off."
What is said:
"Biscuits"
What is meant:
"Cookies"
What is said:
"Ha ha, how many biscuits did you just inhale?"
What is heard:
"You're fat."
What is said:
"So this bridge was designed by the great Isambard Kingdom Brunel who was one of the greatest engineers whom ever lived. In fact he also built the SS Great Western - one of a series of the biggest ships ever made at the time."
What is understood:
"Blah blah blah blah blah biscuits blah blah blah blah."
What is said:
"So this is the oldest pub in Bristol - as you can see it's existed since about the time your continent was discovered."
What is meant:
"No offence like, but your country is the Haley Joel Osment of the world.*"
What is said:
"It's freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing."
What is meant:
"We like to moan about the weather here, it gives some meaning to our otherwise empty lives."
What is said:
"Do you want HP sauce with your bubble & squeak?"
What is meant:
"Unbeknownest to you, our relationship is on the line if you say no.**"
What is said:
"No really, it's not embarrassing to take a photo of you on the zebra crossing in Abbey Road while you hold up traffic and wave at the camera."
What is meant:
"At some unspecified point in the future, I shall be cashing this chip in."
*Spectacular success at a young age but really the rest of the world is sitting back and waiting for the hooker-fuelled coke overdose in your teens....
**She said yes, then ate all of mine.
Wednesday 14 January 2009
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6 comments:
Yes, I will take some HP sauce with my bubble and squeak!
and crisps are potato chips, is that correct?
I nearly fell of the couch laughing at that Haley Joel Osment quip. Funny, funny stuff!
Bubble and squeak sounds like something Mr. Cheeks would do to me and the sound I would make immediately following....
:)
Ah, it must be love...
Puss
I would be willing to try the Bubble and Squeak, with or without said "HP" sauce -- if that is indeed what it is called -- if we can go on that giant ferris wheel afterward.
Oooh. And the Tower of London.
Pearl
p.s. I reserve the right -- especially following several pints -- to giggle like an American if you step outside for a fag.
fair enough old cobber, good enuff stuff hey?
IG - crisps are indeed what you call chips. And chips are what you call fries. Although we have fries too.
Sweet Cheeks - Bubble & Squeak is all the chopped up vegetables from christmas day mixed together and fried in butter. Tis yummy.
puss - you may be right ;-)
Pearl - HP sauce (or Houses of Parliament sauce) is the true food of the gods. I've been known to have HP sauce sandwiches :)
We did the London Eye and strangely Mrs. RS wanted to see the Tower of London (why?) and also announced in a scary cockney accent that she was 'Going for a faaaaaaaahhhhhhgggg' every time she went for a smoke.
Dash - indeed :)
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