Thursday, 13 August 2009


I observed women's buttocks the other day - and I saw beauty.

Not at the same time, I'd like to add.

No, I was purchasing a sandwich at a posh(ish) sandwich bar near work (by posh I mean - not fried bacon and without ketchup) and seeing as it provides excellent (if expensive) freshly made salads to order, it is normally half full of women.

(Would it be rude to point out to a lady that 'chicken, prawns, coleslaw, pickled onions, beef and pork' is possibly why your 'salad-only' diet is not quite working for you?)

Anyway, this one day while we were waiting in the sandwich queue, a young woman walked in with her buttocks in the wrong place. Seriously. Most people's buttocks are sort of halfway between the neck and the feet, it's just....well.....normal. This girl, however, had buttocks sprouting from where her hamstrings should be - but was still tall. Her proportions were just bizarre. Stumpy legs and the world's longest back.

Sadly for her, she was standing in the queue next to her inverse twin - Ms. Legs As Far As They Can Go.

They were both the same height as well, and they ended up looking like this (excuse my skills in Paint):

It was strangely hypnotic.

As for beauty, well I can thank Alfa Male for pointing this out to me on the way home from work one day. I've never seen a plane intersect a Cirrus cloud quite like this before, but I thought it was pretty damn beautiful.


P said...

Is it wrong that I thought the very fatty salad you mentioned sounds awesome? Without the prawns though...

Red Squirrel said...

P - I don't think that's wrong at all, I'd just be honest and call it the 'Set Meal for 2' rather than a salad... :)

Anonymous said...

The buttocks thing IS worrying. Also, how do some ladies get that flat and wide bum thing yet other have a short but bulbous bubble-butt that looks like their derriere could bench press a 200lb man? Then occasionally some lady eats too many cheese burgers and has a toosh that starts just under her armpits and reaches her mid-thigh? Someone needs to do a report and some research.