Friday, 19 December 2008

The people are revolting...

...apparently. Couldn't agree more myself.

Anyway, the reason I mention this is because I pass a particular poster site every day on the way into work. For the last week it has been emblazoned with an advert for what I assumed was yet another perfume ad, but that actually turned out to be for a personal alarm.

Not just any personal alarm - the 'Revolutionary'
ila Dusk personal alarm.



I'm intrigued enough to bother looking this up because it's not often something 'Revolutionary' comes along.

I'd define an object as 'Revolutionary' as a great leap forward, a step change in design. My dictionary defines it as 'of, pertaining to, characterized by, or of the nature of a revolution, or a sudden, complete, or marked change' which basically says the same as I said just with a strange comma fetish.

So I wonder what 'Revolutionary' leap forward in personal protection is provided by the ila Dusk? Is it perhaps the abandonment of capital letters in their company name? Does it perform some wondrous new trick?

An alarm of any kind is designed to alert someone to an event - be it a bedside alarm waking you up, a burglar alarm or a car alarm. Does the ila Dusk have a new way of doing this? Noise and light have been done, so maybe it uses telepathy? Or magically texts the Police with 'Hlp. Bng mugd. tb xxx'? Or maybe it even projects 'Mama Mia' onto a nearby surface causing the attacker* to flee or risk his sanity (which would also make solving the crime much simpler - 'Yes, officer, it was the third man on the left. I recognise his inability to hit the high notes in Waterloo')?

Sadly it does none of those things. It screams like a girl, something I feel the girl frantically yanking at the thing in her handbag is probably better qualified to do. Oh, and it comes in different colours to match your shoes.

Something designed to allow women to accessorise? I fail to see what's 'Revolutionary' about that....





*Let's face it, the attacker is 99.9% likely to be a straight man. Unless there was serious dress envy going on.

8 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

It looks as if you can watch TV on it. That's quite a sharp picture.

Paula said...

a strange comma fetish is a fetish I've never been exposed to before . . .

i realise the previous sentence implies I have been exposed to lots of OTHER fetishes. Oh well . . .

Sweet Cheeks said...

Hmmm...can be used more than once and has 10 minutes' battery time in total.

10 minutes is more than I need...oops...wait a minute...I'm thinking of a different battery operated device...sorry.
*blush*
:)

Nuvalostlamb said...

Nothing wrong with fetishes.... anyway f**k that thing looks like one of those mobiles that are small enough to hold between your buttocks without discomfort - maybe that's what's revolutionary about it.....

Do you know if they have them in pink btw Squirrel?

Pearl said...

"Revolutionary".
Hmmm. Yes. It'll probably be an "instant classic" as well.
Argh!
Let's just forget about the English language and go back to grunting...
Pearl

weenie said...

Got my serious hat on right now - unfortunately victims of muggings/rapes have revealed that many were too scared sh*tless or too physically hurt to scream so this could be a good thing?

Or it might come as a surprise to men that screaming doesn't come naturally to many women?

In this age of car alarms, burglar alarms, bleeps and electronic sounds, maybe the sound of a human crying for help is actually 'revolutionary'?

The matching colours thing though, I don't get - maybe it's just a marketing angle, to get young women obsessed with bling and accessories to carry it.

Red Squirrel said...

gb - that would count as revolutionary to me.

Paula - I bet you have... :-)

Sweet Cheeks - why, whatever could you mean? *innocence*

nuvalostlamb - one of them has pink on it I think...

Pearl - having just watched my football team lose, grunting feels about right :(

weenie - one would think that if you're collected enough to get the thing out of your handbag and yank the chain then you probably should be able to scream. Even so, I'm not knocking the concept of personal alarms - just the use of language. Changing the noise it makes and putting a pretty picture on it isn't 'Revolutionary' in my eyes!

Glamourpuss said...

Personal alarm? What, it tells you when to reapply your lipstick?

Useful.

Puss