It's 3:30am and I don't care. I'm up late because it's my girlfriend's birthday and we don't share the same continent so I'm working off island time - kapesh?
So in the true tradition of drunken (yet impeccably spelt) posts, here are 5 things about me I've never revealed before. I reserve the right to delete this post when I wake up tomorrow)
1) I'm allergic to everything. Not a joke either. I have bad eczema exacerbated by cats, dogs, heat, cold, soap, any cleaning product, rubber, anything acidic, anything alkali, anyone coughing near me or potentially existing in the same universe. Basically - it's your fault :)
1a) And when I say 'allergic' - a mere second in the presence of any surfactant will make my skin fall apart, often in real time.
2) I hate boats. I hate anything on water. I struggle to cross bridges. The mere concept on being on water freaks me out. I blame this entirely on a) seeing Jaws aged 8 and b) my Dad dropping me in the Canal de Bourgogne and despite my frenzied pleas to get out of said canal, being denied. I probably can't swim. I'd probably do a Moses if forced.
3) My first real girlfriend gave me hepatitis and destroyed half my liver forever. She did that by cheating on me in our month's 'trial period' after two years of going out. I can never forgive this.
4) I often think the world would be improved by 3,000,000,000 people dying. At least.
5) As a consequence of point 4, I'm not sure I deserve to be in the right half.....