Friday, 6 March 2009

Sieg Hiel!

Okay, blah blah, I've promised the funny work one for ages, blah, on it's way, blah blah.

Now that's out of the way, let's talk football. Not boring proper, professional football, no - let's talk sweaty locals kicking thin air and falling over football.

Yes, let's talk about me playing football :(

We recently played a football match between 'Big Department' versus 'Other Departments'.

It seemed fair.

It wasn't.

Average age difference between the sides = 14 years (note:- in their favour, the young bastards)

Average weight difference = 4 stone (note:- that's me on the left. I was the thinnest player. The guy on the right was either 8 months pregnant, smuggling a football or possibly a fat whale)



We lost.

14-1.

To a side with 2 girls in it (note:- bugger off, they played in defence and the ball never got that far).


A line is drawn *glares*


Onto other things, the few members of the above team (who could walk) met in the pub tonight. We had a good long discussion about the contractor - and ex-colleague of mine - who got fired for gross insubordination/drunkeness/racial abuse/starting a fight/being a twat at the end of last year.

[Long story. Lawyers demand it stays as such.]

I stated that up until the episode in question, that the person involved had been 'ok, if a bit arrogant now and then'.

One of our footballers tonight seized on this in a moment of righteous indignation - "A bit arrogant!!! A bit arrogant!!! How arrogant was Hitler when he started?," he says, raising his right arm to shoulder height with palm flat in front of him, "This high?!?!," he exclaimed, raising his arm a few inches higher, "Or this high?!?!"

.....

I don't think I've ever laughed as hard in my life as that moment (um, in public anyway). I think I wet myself.



NOTE TO THOSE WITH NO SENSE OF HUMOUR:
I'm laughing at someone who throws a nazi salute by accident to prove a point that Hitler was bad. I'm not condoning the holocaust. Stop emailing me. If you think I'm being anti-semitic then kindly fuck off and die. Try and improve the world like a diseased buffalo on the edge of the herd that sacrifices itself to the lions to let the majority live.....

8 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Well Hitler did have the gift of the gab, but the Nazi salute was copied from the Romans. Later, the Daleks copied it from the Nazis, so these things have a life of their own.

Sweet Cheeks said...

Little Squirrel...

That story is SIC!

(Spontaneous Ironic Comedy)

Happy Saturday to you friend!

Red Squirrel said...

gb - not just the salute, but the nazis even kept the 'Hail' as well.

Bunch of copycats.

Sweet Cheeks - and a happy Sunday to you :)

Pearl said...

I would've loved to have seen that!
Pearl

Kevin Musgrove said...

Isn't being older and bulkier an opportunity to clog the other side off the pitch? That's the sporting thing to do.

instantKORMa said...

Since you're talking soccer, thanks for the point this weekend! It was much needed.

Belle said...

Squirrely Woo! How many times do I have to tell you. Football is B.O.R.I.N.G!!

Red Squirrel said...

Pearl - I passed the guy in question at lunchtime today. The shout of 'Sieg Hiel' was met with a very red face :)

Kevin - if we could've caught them we'd've kicked them!

iKorma - seeing as we equalised in the 89th minute, thank *you* for the point :)

Bellie Welly - that's the last football post for a while, you'll be relieved to know :-P