Monday 9 November 2009

Just when you think that things can't get worse...

How much bad luck am I having right now? After a welcome fun night out at a gig in Birmingham on Friday (sordid details to follow) I dragged myself back to Bristol to discover that:

a) I live in Manchester
b) I have 19 kids and am claiming Working Tax Credit on them, and
c) the government would like that money back, please, if it's not too much trouble, now, right now, did I mention how you won't like having any knees? Now. Titty Mau!!!!

It seems all someone has to do is write to HMRC (Her Majesty's Royal C*ntflaps) and claim that you've moved to the otherside of the country and they just CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE RECORD WITHOUT CHECKING. This someone then claims a fraudulent tax rebate and they just PAY THE MONEY TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BANK ACCOUNT WITHOUT CHECKING. Then they get puzzled as to why you're still paying tax in the original town that you've lived in unchanged for 12 years and send a menacing letter for back-taxes to your original address.

And the kicker? You can dispute the demand for repayment (on the not unreasonable grounds that it's bollocks) and you will be assigned a case 'handler' who will demand that you prove that YOU DIDN'T RECEIVE ANY MONEY.

I'm not sure you could make it up. Or rather, I'm not sure anyone would believe it if you did :-S

10 comments:

Unindicted Co-Conspirator said...

Thought only Yanks got caught in that money-for-nothin’ Backwards Groundhog Day. Condolences.

But say, didn’t your Momma ever tell you you’d have days like this? Didn’t your Poppa ever tell you the world just isn’t fair?

If we’re citing things that piss us off about how the rich get richer, for me it would be that I don’t have enough money.

Signed/ Dental Assistant from El Cajon CA

Red Squirrel said...

UCC - oh it's not that these things don't happen, it's just after the worst month of my life I have a nice couple of days, and so does Mrs RS, and then this appears. Is it too much to ask for a whole weekend without something else bollocks happening?

P said...

Dear God, that is absolutely RIDICULOUS! Like you said, you couldn't make it up.

Hope it all gets sorted pronto...

weenie said...

Sounds so far fetched that I would hope it was far fetched... :-(

So much for security checks!

Hope you get this sorted out quickly!

Anonymous said...

Is there a press story there?

Person hoping he hasn't moved to Manchester too (ten doors down)

Pearl said...

I had to quick check, but I'm pretty sure I haven't moved to Manchester... Nope. Still here -- but how would I know?! And how the hell does someone filling out a form create this kind of havoc?!

I recently made an enemy that reported my blog as abusive. :-) Found out it was a relative (!) and "unfriended" them. Hope you get to the bottom of this as well.

Pearl

Jack said...

Mr Red Squirrel.

Having dealt with the c-bombs at HMRC and working in finance myself, I wrote to them to demand that they proved with evidence how I had received a magical amount (different matter but same logic).

Don't you DARE comply. Make sure you ask them to quantify their error or you will seek legal actions for their allegations.

HMRC are very easy to beat at their own game, but a lot of people are tricked by their scare tactics.

Don't forget to request that they advise the name on the account that they have paid money in to.

If they refuse to divulge, tell them that they are essentially admitting that they have made a mistake. If they give you the name, kindly point out that a) it is not you or b) if it has your name, they you suggest they go and knock on your door at the supposed address.

Suffice to say, I bet aforementioned address (in Moss Side no doubt) doesn't exist.

I get very angry at these sort of things. I did something similar with the TV Licence peoples. I paid and they kept threatening court action if I didn't pay. I was DESPERATE to get a court summons so I could turn up with a dated TV licence, but alas, they gave up when someone thought to check. And then sent me a cheque to apologise.

C***ts the lot of them!

Kevin Musgrove said...

Like JAck said.

You might also ask them for proof that they have not passed on the erroneous details to any other government agency and that they haven't screwed up your National Insurance in the process.

Anonymous said...

And now I read the government are going to keep ALL our phone and email information for one year to check on terrorists or something.

Er, yet they can't even sort out their own honest citizens? This is madness. Anyone know a decent country to emmigrate to?

Alfamale

Red Squirrel said...

P - I'm sure it'll get sorted. In six months...

weenie - apparently this is a common scam. How scary is that?

Alfamale - I think you moved there too. Could've sworn I saw you...

Pearl - a relative reported your blog as abusive? For what - I can't say I've seen anything on your's that could be called that?!? That's so out of order :)

Jack - thanks for the comment. They're not getting a penny out of me (they couldn't if they tried tbf), it's more my astonishment at how lax HMRC are. It's hardly as though they're new at this tax-gathering lark...

Kevin - good point about my NI history! Best get on to them pronto before some other bill arrives...

Alfamale - New York! No, wait, not New York...